mini breakdowns

I was feeding Addison her night time bottle & just staring at her perfect little face on the night she turned 6 weeks old. I was smelling her sweet smell, thinking about how good she felt in my arms. Then I thought about the day when she would be a "big" girl and not need mommy to hold her and get her to sleep. That's when I lost it. I started crying a little. Then I thought more about her growing up on me, so I cried harder. Then I started sobbing so hard I had to put her in her crib or I would have woke her up. I stepped out of our bedroom & let Adam hold me while I cried and told him my fears of how she wouldn't need me anymore. She was already saying "I good" and was preparing to take her first bite of rice ceareal. Mostly I talked about how fast she was growing. How could she have been 6 weeks old  already?!


My little 12 pound 4 ounce, 23 1/2 inch ladybug at 6 weeks old.



My baby turns 11 months old tomorrow. Tonight was no different than any other night, but as I was holding her, looking at her little perfect face, smelling her sweet smell & loving how she feels in my arms. After a moment tears started to fall. I laid her in her crib so I could go into the living room and sob alone as to not wake her. I cried because time is going too fast. She is growing up too fast. Oh, what a fiesty little thing she is. She crawls,pulls up, laughs so loud, says lots of words, feeds herself, makes the funniest faces, the list goes on. She's growing up on me...for real this time. I still dread the day when she won't need me anymore but right now I cherish her being "clingy" and chanting "momma."

My little 28 pound, 33 inch sweet baby.

Truth is when I was holding that tiny 6 week old, I needed her more than she could have ever needed me. I still do. She is my reason, my heart, my world.